shark bait

*
Yesterday's afternoon gig at the Downtown Aquarium went...er...swimmingly.

I was thrilled to be singing with the oh-so-talented-and good-humored David Craig and Henry Darragh. Both were stand up guys about the whole fishy affair.

I personally had a blast with them, fins and all, despite the excessive amounts of dextromethorphan in my system (thus the oddly glazed-over look on my face). I THOUGHT I was smiling, I swear! A friend of mine who was idiot enough in his younger years to use DM as a recreational drug (seriously the stupidest thing I have ever heard of) explained to me that it is a dissociative hallucinogen...um...scary. Mainly I was jittery and paranoid and had a few moments of phasing out--Henry and David probably think I was just the typical spacey chick singer, sigh. But by golly I wasn't coughing!! I will in the future be more careful with my Delsym. Oy.

The mermaid dress was a tad scanty for my taste. Yes, it was pretty, yes, I get the whole aquatic theme for the employee appreciation cocktail party for the Aquarium, but personally, I felt it undermined the band's credibility. Call me a wet blanket. But the client was pleased and J&D were happy with the end result, so I really shouldn't be so "flip" about the whole thing! (OK, last fish-pun, I promise! Maybe...)

The band and I were a tad disturbed to see the live goldfish swimming in the table decorations (fish bowls filled with orchids). Especially when we realized they were serving fish as an entree as well...hmmm...a little morbid for my taste. David wondered how many expired decorative fish the Aquarium disposes of daily, excluding the poached/grilled/fried/baked varieties served in the restaurant, of course.

The rain was a bit of a nuisance as the valet drop off is a good hike from the actual door to the restaurant. This makes no sense to me whatsoever. I caught a brief glimpse of Henry getting thoroughly soaked as he ran to his car after the gig. Sorry man! Of course, it lent a sense of authenticity to the mer-theme, I looked like I had recently emerged from the watery depths upon arrival.

I know, I know: quit yapping and bring on the seashell brassiere...

The band and Mer-babe: (note the blue velvet draped dais...sheesh)



HA! I didn't notice until just now that they had draped Henry's keyboard with fish net! Wowser! I LOVE it!

And the Aquatic Hollywood Call Girl herself...



Bet you'd like to be a part of MY world....
or,
Bet you'd like a piece of that tail!
or,
Tartar sauce anyone?
or,
Would you like fries with that?
or,
Oh I could go on and on...there are fathoms of pun possibilities...Anyone want to continue the fun? Just keep away from calling Gwendolyn overdeveloped caviar...I'll take THAT personally!

*title credited to Alexis Swartley and her uber-wittiness.