A few things I would like to make perfectly clear about Vegans:
1. We are not all fanatical PETA members judging you for buying a purebred German Shepherd rather than adopting a mutt from your local pound. And although the whole baby seal thing is kinda sad and sick, it is not on the top of my concern list. The rapid expansion of The Collective American Ass IS, however of major concern to me, as it is to everyone who hates ugly people.
EXHIBIT A
2. We do not ALL expect the non-vegans around us to accommodate our dietary choices through special restaurant trips, special dish preparation or anything else that would annoy you. If you like us as a HUMAN enough that you would like us to join you for lunch, it would be easier on us to choose a place at which we can eat more than iceberg and lemon wedges. However, I frequently go sit and suck lemons with my friends just to enjoy their company, and eat when I get home. No big deal. Relationships are about compromise.
3. We do not all eat weird shit, like PEAT MOSS AND TREE BARK, DIESEL! Granted there are a few things that are lesser known to Americans that are real life-savers for Vegans, like seitan, a basic asian dish made from wheat gluten flour that is so meat-like (you can use it just like meat in anything, from BBQ to lasagna and everything in between) I always serve it to omnivores when they come over to try to help them feel like they are eating something they consider "normal." (Yes I am that sweet) But as a rule, you can think of what I eat as being a plate full of side dishes. The SAME side dishes you eat. Including french fries and pasta. I eat Italian and Mexican and Chinese, I eat sandwiches and burritos and chili and burgers. Sure, they are made of some sort of veggie matter rather than ground up unidentifiable animal parts (any guess as to how many eyeballs the average pack of hamburger contains?) I eat cake and pie and cookies and ice cream, the only difference is that they don't contain hormone-laden bovine mammary secretions or the single-celled reproductive secretions of birds. But they are every bit as deliciously sweet and unhealthy as the omni version!
EXHIBIT B
EXHIBIT C
And lets be honest, isn't it equally obnoxious when someone refuses to eat carbs of ANY KIND and want to pick the restaurants based on how good the grilled chicken salad is?
4. The shift to a Vegan lifestyle is not something we can all do the day we decide to to Veg. Personally, my husband and I were given a car as a gift when his mother got a new one. Our car has leather seats. Not only is this a pain in my ass literally since we live in Houston and do not have a garage, but it is also a choice I would not make, and in direct opposition to my dietary and lifestyle choices. HOWEVER, we are starving musicians who can't afford to run out and make our entire collection of possessions reflect our preferences. We take what we can and are grateful that we don't have to ride the non-existent public transportation system here. Don't be so quick to judge, any lifestyle change is a process. You don't expect new parents to have every little thing they require for child rearing (thus Baby Showers were invented), but after a few years when tyke-number-two comes along, they usually have it all and don't have to "make do" with the ancient hand me down crap someone's sister-in-law has been saving for the next baby in her dusty attic for 10 years.
5. And finally, I have never, EVER, EVER heard of any normal person photographing their "pooh" [sic] and posting it on the internet. (Oh wait, there was this ONE guy) This odd behavior is not related to any Vegan practices I have ever heard of, and I can say with confidence that most Vegans would not only be equally grossed out by this, but would join me in the morbid curiosity of asking: "Why? Dear GOD in heaven! WHY?!?!?!"
One last word to the negative angry folks (JINKSY) out there routing for Vegans to "convert back either from weakness or health reasons." I can only assume that your desire to see others fail at anything they attempt be it a Vegan lifestyle or otherwise, is due to a deep seated self-loathing related to an inability to successfully accomplish your own goals. The fact is that the Vegan lifestyle, when properly led will only create a resoundingly healthy human, bolstering the immune system, and literally turning off many serious diseases including diabetes, osteoporosis, and even cancer (Read The China Study by T. Colin Campbell). There are plenty of Junk Food Vegans out there who will of course suffer from malnutrition thanks to their ill-informed ideas about diet and their belief that potato chips and coke do in fact a meal make, propagated by the current fast food culture in which we are drowning (and dying). But to gleefully rejoice in their failure is perhaps the most unkind statement I have read in some time. Granted, I avoid negative drooling cretans like you as a rule, but I am heartbroken for your apparent lack of sympathy and love for your fellow man. That said, I can only respond in a language you will perhaps understand: Go f@ck yourself a&#h@le. (Sorry, Mom.)
Peace!
**links to other bloggers due to comments posted on a recent mattresspolice.com blog that referenced the fact that one of my all time favorite bloggers "hates vegans." Consider me stung to the core.
9 comments:
First off, thanks for the plug.
Secondly, my comment about vegans-turned-carnivores relates directly to my sister's family, who had switched completely vegan. They made only healthy food choices, yet my nephew's doctor still encouraged him to switch back to a more balanced diet (meat & veggies) due to his line of work, and his lack of energy.
My comment about failure was due to a conversation I had with a former co-worker who had decided to go vegan. I had mentioned to her that she should get rid of her jacket and shoes which were made of animal product, if she was truly going vegan for humanitary reasons. She then stated she wasn't going to throw out a $300 jacket, and would simply stop eating meat and would only purchase animal-friendly products moving forward. A few weeks later I saw her eating a Whopper at Burger King.
My other gripe is with PETA, who blatantly use sex as a tool to spread their message. If Big Brothers, the Boy Scouts and the United Way can't use sex, then neither should PETA.
With that in mind, I'm not sure what makes you think I'm angry.
Keep up the good work. :)
Exhibits A through B, ordered by least gross to most gross: C, A, B. Yes, I would rather fry up that fat dude and eat his fleshy thighs than eat that nasty mushroom tofu thing.
Anyway, I don't really hate vegans, although it irritates the hell out of me when one of the Google cafes serves "vegan lasagna." Sure, there are two other entrees that have meat in them, but what if I don't like those two? I love lasagna, except when it's made with some kind of algae instead of meat. Just make me some regular lasagna, dammit!
Anyway, the whole thing seems rather arbitrary to me, as evidenced by the fact that my organic vegetables grown in ground up baby seal remains technically qualify as vegan food.
Oh, and I agree: Taking pictures of your pooh is sic.
Aah, stupid me. Maybe if I ate some more carrots, I wouldn't be so blind.
Comment is attached to post preceding this one.
JInksy:
I could go on for days about how sadly absurd it is that you or your sister's family view their doctor as a god with all the answers, but since about 99% of Americans are living with this kind of limited opinion of Western medicine and its disciples, I will leave that up to the plethora of information available to anyone who so desires to "take the red pill."
I would be interested to know if $300 jacket girl has stuck to any personal commitments in her life, but that aside, why not applaud her for trying, and sympathize with her for doing what all humans do: fail, and encourage her to try again?
And like I said in the post, not all of us are PETA folks, so I'm not real sure why you brought that up.
Diesel:
Don't eat fat men, they are very high in cholesterol.
That is a veggie burger that has neither mushroom NOR tofu within its delicious animal-free confines. My Whopper-loving omni husband (who also refuses to eat anything green, btw) has tried it and approved it fit for human consumption. Don't be so hasty!
I have never heard of using algae in lasagna; think you could get me that recipe?
And no, your veggies fertilized with seal babies would NOT be vegan, as vegan is also implied in the cultivation and processing of a product, thus many beers and wines are not vegan despite being free of animal products when they are filtered through isinglass (fish parts) and bone char.
Lonie:
I stand corrected in mocking your use of the little known spelling of poo/pooh. In my house adding the h changes a foul smelling waste product to a simple minded but cuddly yellow bear. It made me giggle, and I ran with it. I AM in fact aware of the "correct" English spellings of many words that my American based spell check disallows. It drives me nuts actually as I much prefer "theatre" to theater and a few others I find more sensical.
Playful ribbing is all well and good and done by all but a very few of my friends as I am one of only two vegans in my close social circle, but saying one "hates vegans" seems to me to railroad directly across the line between playful and hateful.
To you all:
I actually wrote this post with a banter-like tone in my head, but after receiving your responses and upon rereading the post, I realize it sounded much more like an outraged bacon-deprived pooh-photographing zealot, and for that I do apologize.
I encourage people who are not familiar with veganism to ask questions and learn a few truths about me before they make assumptions. Of course, I also realize that in most cases I am an exception. Although I have chosen this path, I have done so for reasons that are prioritized differently than your average hairy-armpitted hippy chick and I accept that. I am an anomaly. I get it. I know it was mostly light hearted ribbing, however, I fail to see how it is not OK to "rib" a person with food allergies to eggs and dairy, but it is acceptable to "rib" a vegan. I do not consider my diet a "choice" I have made. I feel I have no choice in the matter thanks to state of our food industry and the way the human body responds to animal products. It is a hard thing I am trying to do, and what I want more than anything else in this world, is for enough of us "normal" people to come to our senses long enough to make some real changes happen on this planet. Right now, if you are an activist, you are a radical. If you are a vegan, you are a crunchy animal loving weirdo, if you avoid fast food you are snobby. How is this "normal?" Our country was founded by activists, many of whom were vegetarians, and NONE of whom had any concept of food being chemically and hormonally altered for the sake of profit margins.
But I digress. Wasn't this all a funny ha ha time we have had. I know I am entertained. Hooray. Well shit, now I really DO sound like I'm upset. Oh well. My guess is, no matter what I said in response to your comments, you would have made enough of your own assumptions to make my words moot.
Cheers
I rib people with food allergies all the time. I know a co-worker with a peanut allergy, so sometimes I'll dress up like Mr. Peanut and chase him around the office. And then when I catch him I beat him with my cane. And oh how we laugh. Well, I do most of the laughing. He kind of just lays there. But still, that's a pretty good joke
Eyeballs! Yum!
There are dairy products (organic) not laden with hormones, you know. We did vegan for a bit (my oldest has a severe dairy allergy, and my best friend didn't use eggs); but it wreaked havoc with my blood sugar - those vegan protein sources have too many carbs for my metabolism, I guess. Also, every time I got pregnant, I craved a steak. It was weird.
To each his own, I say. But I still enjoy Diesel's sense of humor. And admit it, there are some really insufferable, holier-than-thou vegans out there.
Oh, and to meat-eaters? Seitan doesn't cut it. My rule of thumb is don't make something which is supposed to taste like something else. That non-dairy cheese? Blecch.
Here via Diesel's blog. I have to say, I am endlessly fascinated by nonvegetarians' defensiveness about meat. And I'm not vegan or even a true vegetarian since I eat seafood. But when I've mentioned tofu or vegggie burgers or the like, I've gotten some unprovoked negative comments and I've also read bloggers' (some of who, I like very much) diatribes on subjects like why people should not be allowed to eat meat sunstitutes. My guess is that it forces people to consider their own choices and that is mightuly uncomfortable. I say, we all walk our own path and if I don't stand in judgment on someone's decision to eat steak, they should leave me the hell alone about my edcision NOT to.
I guess they took their family doctor's word as gospel, because the Witch Doctor's use of goats' blood (I'm not aware of a Vegan substitute) and urine didn't help matters any. And while there are alternatives, they are not always readily available to all members of the general public (geographically).
Secondly, I did admire my former co-worker for her admirable efforts. It was just through good-natured ribbing and lively conversation that I uncovered her stance on "not ridding herself of all unsuitable trinkets". I could possibly forgive the jacket if it bore some emotional significance. I would've hoped she didn't have a similar attchment to her shoes. I have no issue with heloping someone embrace a new lifestyle change, I do have issue with those who seem to so without full consideration of its significance.
And while I understand you do not repersent the extremist view of PETA, I wanted to let you know that they were responsible for the initial tirade you saw on my behalf. I can safely say that refering to PETA as your typical vegans, is not that different from refering to the KKK as a "wholesome Christian group". The parallels are quite remarkable in fact.
And contrary to your original post, I don't wish poorly on people to fail a healthy lifestyle. I myself, try to maintain a healthy lifestyle keeping active (through physical activity and a healthy diet), and I encourage others to follow suit. I may prefer chicken, tuna and steak to tofu and sprouts, but I try and pick only the leanest and healthiest cuts, when possible.
I'm still bothered by the evil SOBs who devised southern fried steak (while delicious, you can feel your arteries harden with each bite).
Way to go, Mrs. Poopular. I mean popular. Well, maybe I do mean poopular.
You gotta warn a brother before waving digital cellulite around like that. Capital BLCH! I haven't seen a person that huge since Ted Kennedy was at the Macy's Day Parade!
MMM veggie burger. MMM vegan cupcakes. BLCH decaying carcasses of animals not suited for human consumption. This isn't opinion, or mere activist choice. This is trying to live like a human is supposed to. What false guru of nutritional science said "steak, ham, eggs, milk, cheese, and buttered toast are the only components for a healthy breakfast"? Just look at your typical fast food breakfast menu. Not ONE vegetable. Not even a FRUIT option. Makes me sick to the core.
"Our country was founded by activists, many of whom were vegetarian." AMEN to that! If you think Ben Franklin wanted the turkey as the national bird because he thought it was delicious, you probably also want Arnold Schwarzenegger as the next President of the US, and Oprah as the Secretary of State. This is fun. How about Ryan Seacrest for Secretary of Homeland Security? "Seacrest OUT... of the closet!"
Wow, tangent central over here. Gotta get some lunch now. Later.
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