tis the season...

December and January: SPRING AUDITION SEASON (dun dun duuuuuun.....)

Time for new head shots:



This was a self portrait taken in my bathroom. Hey! I am NOTHING if not resourceful.

Ike really left a deeper scar on my war path than I had first anticipated. A cleared calendar for a time-consuming show proved to be disastrous when said show failed to manifest due to a NATURAL DISASTER. An upheaval and subsequent move in my personal life coupled with the onset of the hustle and bustle of the Holiday Season had my head spinning. A slew of last minute gigs stole my sanity but paid some bills, so I forgive them. Plus the adventure aspect of the past four weeks has made life so very interesting! Of course, craziness is de rigeur in my life...

Let's see...

I managed to get sicker than I have EVER been with my FIRST EVER STOMACH FLU while DRIVING to an important and major gig. Nothing like puking on the side of Hwy-290...and I-45...and Hwy 105...then passing out...while driving; FUN TIMES! I have learned that Houston drivers are not even sympathetic to the puking lady on the side of the road. They will STILL flip you off for going even one notch below the speed limit as you pull over with hazards blazing. I also learned that full Vegas Showgirl Drag will illicit wolf whistles from fat men at Conroe gas stations REGARDLESS of what you are doing at said gas station (in my case, it was puking into the trash can--we are going to hope for this man's sake that he missed that part and just got dazzled by the foot-long lashes and smoky black eye shadow...)

I saw what a mess downtown really is in terms of traffic control and flow as 5000 guests arrived for various holiday parties at the hilton Americas while 18,000 Rockets fans simultaneously arrived to support their beloved team. Thank you to the Hilton Americas for booking parties that invited more guests than their parking garage could accommodate and therefore forcing many of us mere mortals to sit at the light at Crawford and Dallas for 45 full minutes. Luckily, I am a conniving devious snake of a human and LIED THROUGH MY TEETH to have the privilege of VALET PARKING. I can only IMAGINE the chagrin of the top execs in their $100k cars with their jeweled and furred wives watching my Camry pull into the coveted (and guarded by 4 policemen) valet lane. (the policemen actually had to ESCORT my car in to avoid unwanted cars from getting in!) To add insult to injury, my white Toyota was covered in black blobs of bird dookey. (insert sigh of contentment here)

The best gig of the season thus far: The Elder's Holiday Party-an Haute Soiree event. A breathtaking mansion right on the lake on Benthaven Isle in Bentwater, appreciative but unobtrusive guests, (no one requested Freebird OR Kenny ROgers) amazing talent on the bandstand, much silliness ensued and I have pictures (courtesy Jeremy Keas) to prove just how smokin' I looked and I will post them as soon as I have them.

Comedy of Errors

The weekend wedding gig went..er...um...well, it went.

Nothing like REALLY EXPENSIVE WALLPAPER to make a party fabulous!

The band was a phenomenal collection of Houston's top musicians: David Craig, Chuck Payne, Devin Collins, Mike Owen, Woody Witt, Johan Keus, and Paul Peacock, plus the FABULOUS WONDERFUL BLOW YOU AWAY PIDO on vocals, and then there was me. Oh I'm joking, I had a moment or two...

But the room was full of, well, investment bankers. Not the liveliest of crowds. I hope to get some pro shots from the photographer that was covering the event, but until then, PIDO managed to get a few, just to give you an idea:

Here's me and Devin at the piano (rented a baby grand for this doozy!) going over some last minute things.



and here is one of the band. (minus my handsome talented and possibly deranged drummer) I believe this was taken during Moon River (father/daughter dance) which I counted off way too fast thanks to the Wedding Coordinator coming to me immediately before this and the first dance and telling me the bride has asked that we shorten the dances. This is why I need people like Glen Ackerman around to tell me that I am CRAZY and ignore my crappy tempo and just do it RIGHT instead! What a ROOKIE!



And one of Mike Owen and David Craig. These guys shared a hearty guffaw at my butchered version of Night and Day. Somehow I started out with the words all out of order/wonky and it all went downhill from there. By the end of it, I was just cracking myself up at such a TARD moment on my part.



NOTE TO MIKE AND DAVID: I SWEAR I KNOW THE TUNE BACKWARDS AND FORWARDS AND COULD SING IT IN MY SLEEP WHILE BALANCING MY CHECKBOOK, BUT I WAS TRYING TO MAKE IT INTERESTING AND CONFUSE YOU GUYS, TO SEE IF YOU WERE PAYING ATTENTION. YEAH, THAT'S IT.

PIDO took home the gold for band amusement that night, however, with his original reinterpretation of Blue Moon. He SAID he knew it. He approached the Mic with confidence and proceeded to sing...this:

PIDO BLUE MOON MADNESS

***

MWA ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

The best part was that people in the crowd were smiling and nodding at him, totally oblivious to the bizarre non-language emanating from his lips.

It had the making of a cool gig; a multi-million dollar mansion, a rented a baby grand, a pro sound man, had some of the greatest players in town, and we all looked mighty fine, if you ask me. But the room was full of silent old farts glaring at the spectacle or young tards waiting for the DJ.

I managed to get a few folks on the dance floor with "At Last" always a favorite at parties as a sexy slow dance, and then had a little fun with a few people in the room during "Gee Baby Ain't I Good to You?" Of course, our recorder had run out of memory by that point so no proof of anything exciting. I had a moment of panic during "Gee Baby" when the horns all walked off stage during the first chorus. I thought "dang it isn't THAT bad!" but it turns out they were just making room for Mike's A-MAZE-ING guitar playing. Worked out pretty well, and as usual, I enjoy having the stage to myself. (nyuk nyuk)

We will be doing this all again in December, and I look forward to a smoother, better rehearsed show that time around.

***if this audio clip doesn't work, don't tell me. Figuring out how to do this was the source of no less than one ocean's worth of blood sweat and tears, and I do NOT mean the awesome band...just know that I will figure it out and post it again later.